In my 27 years as an educator I have had the opportunity to meet thousands of young people who have passed through my office doors. I have also been privileged to meet most of their parents. Most of the time with the parents the encounter is quite positive, but some of the time it has not been. I would like to share with you about both of these types of encounters in relation to Honesty!!!

Just the other day I had a parent come visit me and was concerned about a rule that would effect his/her child. I shared with them what the rule was and how it did effect their child. I could tell by the look on the face of the parent that the interpretation I gave was probably not the one they wanted to hear. But you know what, within a millisecond they responded that the interpretation that I had given was correct. No matter how much that ruling would hurt their child, they knew that what I said was the truth and the right thing to do. Amazing Parents!!!!

On the other hand way back in my career as a teacher I was asked to be dishonest by an administrator. I was just a newbie as a teacher and it goes without saying that newbies for the most part both respect and fear in a good way most of the time their principals. I did! After I was told to be dishonest concerning a situation with a student, I went back to my office and my stomach began to churn. What was I going to do? Was I going to follow the direction of my principal or was I going to do the Honest thing and the Right thing?

Well, it took me a millisecond to know what I needed to do, but quite honestly it took me about a day to muster the courage to do what was the Honest and Right thing! The next day I went back to the administrator and told him that I could not do what he had asked me to do. I understood his predicament but I told him that I couldn't do it. Boy was I sweating.

The following day I found out that the request that the principal had asked me to lie about was going to take place. Guess What? The principal was the one who delivered the message instead of me and he did the Honest and Right thing. He did not lie either. He stood up and told the truth.

I know honesty is hard for adults, but I realize on a daily basis how hard honesty is for kids. We are their parents, teachers and principals, and they do not want to disappoint us or make us mad. So often they lie or they don't quite give me all the information about a situation in order to protect themselves. I know this is going to happen...but through some time and questioning I found out the truth. What is funny about that millisecond when kids go from telling a lie to telling the truth the most amazing thing happens. The tears start to flow. The apologies start to flow, but more importantly their recovery begins and they can start over with a fresh slate.

Ten times out of ten I give the students the chance to be right again if they come to that point of honesty. Zero times out of ten when they do not come to that point I don't trust for a long time.

During the time that your kiddos are growing up they will disappoint you and will be dishonest at times. Take the time to allow them to recover and start again. Kids at this age are learning to be what you want them to be. Be the example for them. When at times it is tough for you to tell the truth and be honest and they catch you in your lie...be vulnerable enough to admit your mistakes, they will grow greatly from you being honest.

Honesty is the Best Policy!!!